WHY DO PEOPLE NOT LIKE MY WRITING?

You were sure, when your manuscript was published, that it was going to be a good read. How could it not? You have spent countless hours researching the materials required to make your work grand. Numerous sleepless nights were spent writing, striking and rewriting paras and pages. And, those who read it gave you a pat on the back. You were overwhelmed with  excitement until you realized your books were not flying off the shelves like you had anticipated. And, this is one of the most vulnerable stages you can be in. Because, during this phase, self-doubt starts to sprout  in your mind leading you to ask yourself, “Why do people not like my writing?”

What you must realize is that the problem has nothing to do with your writing skills but everything with your state of mind. Let’s analyse this from the viewpoint of a psychologist.

The Filtering Phenomenon

When something happens to a person, which they believe to be bad for them, over and over again, it’s easy to get discouraged and begin to look at the world through a pessimistic lens or filter. Filtering is a cognitive distortion, or unhealthy way of thinking, that skews how a person views the world and causes everything to be perceived from a negative bias.[1]

And, when we fertilize the seeds of negative experience with our precious time, our brain becomes a sieve; a sieve that withholds, when life experiences go through it, the good and let out what is negative. At the end of the process negativity is all what the person will be left with. For instance, perceiving your friends’ or relatives’ lack of interest in reading your work as a sign of you not being a good writer, while in reality what is actually stopping them from going through your work is their busy schedule, or the fact that they are not in a mood to read a three hundred page novel.

Cognitive Biases

Over time, the filtered thoughts develop into more intricate frameworks, and becomes the lens through which a person  perceives their world. It impacts how the overall environment is experienced. A filter blocks all the positive rays of hope and only the negative ones are allowed to come through. And this ultimately leads to the formation of biases.

Biases are patterns of thinking that form over a period of time and impact how the world is seen. Some of the biases that affects a writer who doesn’t believe in their work are:

"There are millions of books being published. So people won’t be interested in my work."

"When more than one publisher turns down my work it’s because I don’t have what it takes to be a writer."

"As the writing industry is being flooded with self-published authors, I will not have a chance to be a noteworthy author."

Once a filter and biases are in place it can be quite difficult to break free from those thought patterns. It can affect how we perceive things unfolding in our lives, which ultimately influence our decision-making.

Implications Of Having A Negative Filter

Actions are first born in your mind. And your focus on any particular thought - good or bad - impacts your feelings, which in turn influence how you behave, ultimately having big implications for your filters and potential biases.

If a person views the world through a negative lens, their mind magnetizes itself to attract the negative things happening around them. If someone constantly visualizes their failure, their subconscious mind internalizes this message and prevent them from identifying the opportunities that would help them achieve their goals. As a consequence, they will not be successful. This is called a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Talking about self-fulfilling prophecy there are two kinds: self-imposed and ones imposed by others (Pygmalion effect). Self-imposed prophecies, as the name suggests, are internal, coming from within ourselves and can be about ourselves or about other people. For instance, if you think your work is worthless, you will behave in ways that will substantiate your belief; when areas that need to be improved are pointed out by your friends or beta readers you forget no professional writer got it right the first time, and might even think that you made such and such mistakes because you don’t have what it takes to be a writer. Similarly, if you have an unwavering faith in your work, you will view these comments as nothing but stepping stones to your masterpiece.

The Pygmalion Effect occurs when a person tries to match their actions with others’ expectations of them. Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson's study showed that, if teachers were led to expect enhanced performance from children, then the children's performance was enhanced. This study supported the hypothesis that reality can be positively or negatively influenced by the expectations of others, called the observer-expectancy effect. Rosenthal argued that biased expectancies could affect reality and create self-fulfilling prophecies.

Surround yourself with people who share your passion to stay motivated. Their expectation of you publishing your work will be an incentive for you to write when you don’t want to. Moreover, witnessing people you hang out with publish their work will kindle your smoldering desire to be an author. And, today you don’t have to worry if you can’t find any writers around your block. Social media, if used properly, can help you solve that problem.

Unlearn What You Were Taught

Our role models play a major role in shaping our thought patterns. They have a say in how we view and interact with the world. And, when we have role models who have unhealthy ways of looking at things, we are susceptible to internalizing the same ways of thinking. For instance, imagine a child who worked hard all quarter to get good grades. This child did their homework, and tried their best in class. This child turned out to be successful in making the honor roll with all As and one B. They are excited and happy with the results of their hard work, but when they show the report card to their parent, the first thing the parent says is, “Why do you have that B?” This unexpected reaction instantly deflates the child’s pride in their hard work over the course of weeks in just seconds. This reaction not only teaches a child to focus on negatives and shortcomings, but that their efforts, feelings, and thoughts are not valid or valuable. When a child thinks or feels something only to have an adult say their experience is wrong (not just about school but any life experience) it creates self-doubt, anxiety and a lack of security.

So, forget what your teachers or parents thought about you. If writing is important to you, then do it. Period. It doesn’t matter whether you were a topper in English or not. All that matters is whether you love to write or not. And never ever let someone else’s opinion about you define who you are or what you want to be.

Are Filters and Biases Permanent?

We have neural pathways in our brains that are reinforced by habit. Think of it as a dirt road. The more you travel on it, the more well-established it becomes, and vice versa. Hence, filters and biases are not permanent, unless you want them to be.

The nice thing about learning different psychological theories is that you can gain the tools needed to change thoughts, feelings, and behaviors with reflection and practice. And in the end, upon reflection, you will realize, most of your distress comes from yourself. You are your worst critic. You have perfectionist ways and can’t stand when you do things incorrectly. It may be that you have thoughts like:
“I can never do anything right.”
“How did I mess this up again?”
“God, I’m so dumb!”
You might be filtering out all the good things about yourself and just looking at the negative. Your bias is that you are flawed and that there is something wrong with you. This could be something you came to think on your own or that others have said to you. It can also be a result of trauma, such as emotional abuse in childhood.
The most logical thing to do if you have biases is change them. And, if you feel it is easier said than done, then know this; you are right. After all, it is much easier to tread a well-worn path than one covered in rocks and branches, right? But, you need to remember this, traveling through a new path is not impossible. It just takes a tinge of courage and tons of effort from your side.

How To Deal With Filters and Biases?
A filter or bias may have been present for so long that you don’t remember what it’s like to see the world without it. In order to help reveal some of your biases you have to work backwards from repetitive cycles of conflict in your life. Take a moment to reflect.
Once you have identified the negative filters you have, you can begin to work on them by using counter thoughts. If you have a filter that others are not interested in your work, remind yourself that you haven’t reached the right audience yet. If you have a filter that you are worthless and not good at anything, counter those thoughts with positive qualities about yourself. Try to have 1-3 counter thoughts for every thought derived from your negative filter. It might take work and not feel genuine at first, but the more you practice replacing those thoughts, the more those new thoughts will become a part of your belief system. Keep practicing everyday until you get the results you want. If it takes weeks don’t be discouraged. Just remember, it took years and years to develop and maintain those unhealthy biases, so undoing that work will not happen overnight.
Notice how it feels in your body when you experience negative thoughts. During this exercise close your eyes, breathe deeply and notice where the tension lies (your forehead, your chest, your stomach, your shoulders, etc.). When you are ready to counter your negative thought imagine the thought leaving that place in your body and letting it float away in a balloon drifting towards the sky. Do not forget to breathe deeply throughout. Imagine the balloon being released, drifting out your door, lingering near the ground, and then propelling itself with the wind into the horizon. Do not rush the balloon leaving and let it take as long as you need until you feel that the negative thought has left you.
When you are formulating your counter thought, imagine gently placing it on the part of your body where the negativity has left. Continue to breathe deeply. Imagine placing something therapeutic and reparative like a bandage or compress to heal that area. Cover that area gently until you start to feel yourself heal underneath. This visualization exercise might sound silly but it taps into the mind-body connection, reinforcing a healthy cognitive shift and releasing trauma stored in the body. Using visualization can have powerful effects on your healing process and has been substantiated through a systematic review of numerous studies.[5]

Conclusion

A magnetized piece of iron can lift about twelve times its own weight. But, if you demagnetize this same piece of iron, it will not lift even a feather. So is the case with your brain. If you magnetize it with faith in your work it will attract opportunities that will help you become a successful author. But, if you choose to demagnetize it with fear and low self-esteem, it will be too weak to attract any opportunity that could make you an established author. Let's recall what Paulo Coelho wrote in his book The Alchemist, “And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it”

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“We cannot solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them”

-ALBERT EINSTEIN

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My experience tells me, success of a book depends on reaching the right audience at the right time. And by right audience I mean people who share your thought patterns. No book has ever received 5 stars from all the readers on goodreads who reviewed it. And interestingly enough, those books that have received high rating will also have received one star as well, because everyone doesn't have the same thought patterns. Another thing to keep in mind is, people are super busy in this Information age and they are being pelted with information from several platforms. And why should they set aside time to read your book? You need to answer it through your ad campaign.

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